This is How I Knew I Was Ready for the Next Thing

I started a new job almost two months ago now and I forgot how I handle transition, as I always seem to do. My commute went from 20 minutes and a mile walk to sitting in my car for an hour and a half each way (and walking…not at all). My few coworkers were some of my best friends, now I have 30 coworkers in 30 different life stages. I’m cooking less, working out less, reading less, everything less. Except driving. I’m driving way more. (Leave me your audiobook and podcast recs below!)

As I went into Memorial Day, my first respite from a whirlwind new job, I suddenly had that same feeling you get after a breakup has faded into the past just enough: I’m ready. I’m ready to get my life back to normal. All this transition sucked up so much mental, physical, and emotional energy, it was literally all I could do to get there on time, work my hardest, and collapse into bed at the end of the day. But now I didn’t just cognitively decided to start making moves back to my previous lifestyle, my body just sort of nudged me a little: You’re ready.

All this transition sucked up so much mental, physical, and emotional energy, it was literally all I could do to get there on time, work my hardest, and collapse into bed at the end of the day.

Giving myself grace is unfamiliar territory, something I’m working out, but it seems that, without my even knowing, I had been giving myself margin space to figure out this new job and lifestyle that went along with it. Sure, I noticed the weight gain and the fatigue and the loneliness, but those things didn’t bother me like they had in the past. There wasn’t judgment on those facts, I just…noticed. I bet my therapist would be proud!

So now I start making goals because having direction makes me happy. But I try my best to hold onto this sense of ease — it’s all going to be fine. Because it is. Let’s keep leaning towards that balance, yeah?