7 Questions to Ask Your Mentor

Mentorship has been one of the greatest investments of my life so far, both being one and having many. Life is far easier when we have people to fill in our knowledge and experience gaps. No matter where we’re heading, we all have much to learn and much to offer. 

I had the blessing of being involved with a discipleship/mentoring program when I was in college that taught me the value of mentorship relationships and how to really get the most out of them. While we should all have relationships with others who are beyond us in career, personal development, relationship stuff, anything—having a spiritual mentor and committing yourself to long-term discipleship is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself here on earth. 

Here are 7 questions to ask your spiritual mentor: 


1. What spiritual disciplines do you connect with most?

“Spiritual disciplines” sounds intimidating, but they’re just the spiritual habits we form to connect with God. Prayer, reading the Bible, fasting, and giving money are all spiritual disciplines, and God meets everyone uniquely through those things. Asking your mentor the unique ways that she encounters God on a regular basis can give you encouragement and a broader perspective of how God works in His world.

2. What does your prayer life look like at its best?

I’ve found that hearing about other people’s moments of meeting with Jesus to be inspiring and encouraging in my own pursuit of meeting with Him. She might have a great story to tell about how God changed her life through prayer—and how He might change yours.

The enemy’s #1 tool to keeping you where you are is to make you think you’re in it alone—a mentor can be a fantastic person to open about your spiritual growth goals with.

3. How do you deal when you’re angry at God?

Get gritty. Life is rarely as glossy as we want it to be, and I’m the first to admit that I can (and do) get frustrated with God when things aren’t going as I planned. How we handle our frustrations, anger, guilt, and fear with God is crucial to our spiritual walk. Ask your mentor for help here. If she’s human, she’s been angry at God. She might have some verses or prayers to offer you as a starting place. 

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4. What keeps you focused on Jesus? 

Lordy, am I distracted 99% of the time! It’s just plain human nature to drift towards the comfortable easy things, made worse by our phones and social media and demands of life. For me, at least, I need all the help and support I can get to stay rooted in and focused on Christ. Asking your mentor how she says connected will give you new ideas, encouragement, and accountability.

5. What ways do you see the enemy show up in your life? How about in mine?

Friend, you are fighting a spiritual battle every day, whether you pay attention to it or not. The war gets easier when we at least know we’re in it, so wake up to how the enemy attacks you daily. The enemy is wickedly smart and tailors his volleys to each of us to keep us away from God and away from confidence in our ability to fight him with God. 

Just by naming the ways you see his lies and divisions in your life you’ve started to fight back. Your mentor has probably seen a thing or two, and if she is discerning, she might be able to help you see the things in your life, as well. Pray together for a strong and discerning week.

Genuinely bringing requests to God in prayer for another person is the best gift you can give them, and will bring you closer as mentor/mentee and sisters in Christ.

6. Will you keep me accountable for this? Can we do it together?

Growth. Never. Happens. Alone! The enemy’s #1 tool to keeping you where you are is to make you think you’re in it alone—a mentor can be a fantastic person to open about your spiritual growth goals with. In fact, they might be on a similar walk as you, and you can be in it together. Try memorizing a long passage of Scripture or meditating on a promise of God every day for a week.

7. How can I pray for you?

Contrary to popular belief, mentorship isn’t something you just show up to, take all their wisdom, and peace the heck out. Likely, you’ll have just as much investment in the life and heart of your mentor as she has in you. Even if lots of your coffee chats focus on you and your needs, always remember to ask them how you can pray for them. Genuinely bringing requests to God in prayer for another person is the best gift you can give them, and will bring you closer as mentor/mentee and sisters in Christ.


Do you have a mentor? Are you a mentor? Tell me your mentor story in the comments!